There was an 'Op Ed' piece in the paper this morning by Princeton University graduate and Yale Law School first-year student, Amelia Rawls. She realized that her Ivy League experience had taught her something about the character of her fellow über-achiever students: they had amassed hugely impressive resumés, but they were very short on empathy. It just struck me that I might even consider this a sort of culturally-induced sociopathy: which generally means a disconnect between behavior and meaning. Sociopaths act as if they 'get' the values underlying socio-cultural principles, but it's really only an act. These young people need extensive and impressive resumés to move forward, but that doesn't mean that their 'charity' or civic 'concern' has any real values behind it. In person, they lack empathy.
In an earlier article, I mentioned a phenomenon that lies at the core of the future direction of human kind: the tragedy of the commons, which, in other words, can be expressed by that old saying, 'nice guys [and gals] finish last.' What seems to matter most in getting ahead is the appearance of caring, while, in fact, the operative principle is a need to get ahead at any cost. That's the tragedy of the commons in a nutshell: the 'best and the brightest' aren't very ethical people (or at least very high in personal integrity). The more genuinely compassionate you are, the more likely that your plans will be subverted by some cad.
As I mentioned in my earlier article, the unethical subversion of the common good for personal gain carries with it its own karmic consequences. However, what seems truly troubling is that our educational system not only supports, but seems to foster this kind of valueless cultural sociopathy. Certainly, it takes a lot of courage to get ahead, but most it also take callousness?
True empathy requires true authenticity, and authenticity is culturally discouraged. Although most people want to appear authentic, we so often hear things like, "Honestly, John, this is in everybody's best interest." Of course, we might wonder if we're getting a dose of false advertising here. We get a kind of 'gut feeling' that 'Honest John's Auto Repair' somehow isn't. Can one authentic person change the direction of a whole culture? Of course not. It takes a lot of 'one persons' to do the trick. Empathetic people are attracted to one another and build very powerful networks. It's in their (our) nature.
Another basic requirement for creating this kind of empathetic cultural shift comes down to redefining 'success.' Here's where the new set of 'family values' come into play. We've heard time and again how 'success' can't be measured by wealth or possessions or power and influence. Success has to mean something much deeper than that. There are universal Ideals that drive us. True family values promote those Ideals, which I identify as growth in diversity, order, complexity, and conscious awareness. 'Me first' holds no place in this schema. In fact, if I were to boil the most authentic 'family values' down to their fundamental core, I'd have to point to humility as the highest value, defined as: 'knowing yourself as you really are, and acting accordingly.'
H. Les Brown, MA, CFCC
Copyright © 2008 H. Les Brown
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