Ever since Facebook appeared on the internet scene, folks have been inventing new ways to utilize the social networking world both for charity and for profit. Then, along comes Seth Godin with his book, Meatball Sundae, pointing out in no uncertain terms that the advent of social networking has fundamentally altered the rules of the game. We need to listen to Seth, because he has a serious point to make: the future belongs (once again) to interpersonal relationships. It's no longer a matter of 'run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.' Fortunately — at least within the world of the web — the black-and-white thinking that winds up separating the world into 'us' versus 'them' is breaking down. The illusion of the 'them' is starting to disappear (in certain contexts).
As a strategy, empathy is based on the conviction that each other individual person is another self just exactly like me. You could look at creating empathetic connections like forming a bond between equals: what I've been calling social economy: I give of my strengths to you to 'supply' for your 'demand' and, in return, you offer your strengths to me to 'supply' for my 'demand'. Of course, the more complex our social interactions become, the possible 'suppliers' and 'consumers' there will be. I fulfill my social obligations simply by showing up and making myself available.
This sounds simple enough, and, on one level it is. At the same time, it's difficult to hold on to the principle that social networking depends upon a bond between equals. As soon as the 'us vs. them' syndrome starts seeping into the mix, you've got issues. For exactly this reason, the 'helping' mentality becomes so destructive: you can't 'help' someone else and maintain any semblance of the bond between equals. That mentality presupposes a social inequality where, on a deeper, more humane level, no such inequality actually exists. The 'soup kitchen' mentality does nothing to improve the lot of either the 'helpers' or the 'helpless.'
When you consider social networking as a marketing tool (using social networking structures to share your products and services), you've got to be prepared to undergo a real shift of attitude. Whether you want something that someone else has (their money) or you have something that you believe someone else needs (your product or service), in a social network that exchange needs to happen from a position of mutual trust. You can't buy or advertise your way to trust. It happens between individuals and over time. It excludes all the many opportunities there are to take advantage of one another, because, once that trust is broken, you'll never get it back to the same extent.
How can you 'give back' to your community without destroying that bond of trust between equals? It's a matter of attitude, isn't it? How can you deal with needy people whose trust has been violated so many times that they have almost none of it left? When we look at those who demonstrate an adeptness at building trust among the downtrodden, what you see is most often people who've put their egos into their back pocket, permanently. And this works especially well for all social networking: humility is as critical for social networking as having a thick skin used to be for numbers-based cold-call marketing. If you're in it for the 'long haul' rather than aspiring to become an entrepreneurial 'flash in the pan', then empathy needs to be your foundational marketing strategy.
H. Les Brown, MA, CFCC
Copyright © 2008 H. Les Brown
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